I don't like to look in the mirror, I never have...(I could not connect the reflexion with myself) I was not myself in there...the unknown reflection in the cold and precise surface, on the other side the ethereal spirit...and now it came back as a boomerang...looking at my reflection every day and almost forcing myself to accept, connect...finally harmony? Actually yes, whatever it means.
I wonder whether I was really in such a discrepancy with myself and that is why my new look is now sealed? As much as I don't want it, an attack to my vanity, ego...I will deal with it, I can...damn it, I can do so many things...maybe I will once forget this 'diversity', get used to myself completely...I might say that even now I accept myself like that, but maybe I am still somehow comforting myself...I don't pity myself, I don't value people that do that...I respect people that take part in their lives, act, change it, themselves...sometimes when my vanity speaks I wonder whether I just had to be so physically marked, outside...but, it turns out that this is my crack, my pomegranate wound through which all my 'treasure' comes yearningly out, pouring out like a torrent...maybe I would have never understood this message of life if it wasn't for this lesson and an everlasting reminder...which brings me back again and again to the important things in life and 'nevermore'...of all the things of my past life I only miss my smile...'nevermore' like that...although the one I have now is sweet-sounding, happier, more 'mine'...
the first Adam's Rib started because of me, to take me out of my shell, shock, incubator, to fullfil my emptiness...the theme auto-portrait, women...an the great courage to take a look in the mirror, see the picture, feel yourself sincerely, no lies, hiding...and show yourself without fear...the way you really are, in this exact moment...and let the torrent pour out and take its way...unstoppable.
