...the sea...

'Listen. Here comes the one that cleanses and calms. And after him nothing is the same.

That is why it's time for changes. Grab your coat and get going and let the wind take you.

 And don't be afraid of changes, because they are good, they bring happiness in your life.

Learn to accept them and you will see that flying with the wind is easy.'

I'm still swimming...last year was different, I was different...last year my peak was to swim to the open sea and float, as long as I could...

7 a.m....still sleepy, I would plunge into the fresh morning sea...in this silence, infinity, sun...the only sound to be heard was the gurgle... of the tip of my toes passing through water, daydreaming...eyes closed...the smell of salt, the sound of the water vibrating...eyes open, the blue sky as background...peace, quiet, meditation...no questions, the answers would either way impose themselves...the early morning sea background of intensive colors, smells, and most of all silence...me, a creature that seems to watch the scene and myself for the first time..no past, future...life just 'existed'... I 'was'...this would last for an hour, an hour and a half, I would leave when the first bathers arrived.

This was a moment in my life when I didn't need people...when I wanted to be alone with myself...

that summer one song was the only thing that could get to me, that I 'recognized', the only thing I needed...I might say...an infusion of life in me, so empty, so elementary...at that time I could only let myself go to the vibrations that hit me to the core...

that was the summer of surrendering myself to sea, to life, to healing...a summer of complete loneliness and silence...a period of reassembling myself, of feeding, healing the physical and spiritual shock, and inhaling life into a broken creature

a different me appeared this summer...the place and the time still the same (I value silence incredibly), but the story is different...I want to swim for as long as I can, as much as I can...it's another type of meditation, active...swimming goggles, my head immersed in water...through the curtain of the water gazing at the sky...and I move...I feel my strength raising and slowly focusing...I love and want people around me...this summer was different...I moved, turned to other things...all that is left is identifying wishes, needs and more importantly...letting myself fulfill them...

I don't know why the sea fascinates me so much, but sometimes what I would like best is to drown of happiness, hold my breath forever...I enjoy this fantasy for a while, but then I go back to reality...even though I would sometimes drop an anchor at 5m depth and lie down at the bottom eyes fixed on the sky, watching the sun rays diffracting on the surface...

and now the sea turns cold...the cold that refreshes the body, that pinches the skin, that cuts the brain...

once you crash into a wall driving in 5^th gear, you collect your pieces all around and then you (literally) lick your wounds...but, at the same time you get to know yourself the way you never let yourself before...now I can recognize all the fazes of the recovery of soul...I vividly remember the moment when I wished to 'return' among people and when I let the little devil guide me...the one that I successfully silenced in the years before this...from then on I have allowed myself a lot of things...first of all I let myself rediscover the things that really make me happy and make the real me...

as if, after all, I was 'reborn' more true and more wise, more me then ever before...I would dare say 'animal'…thirsty of life...